Developing a proper motivational & reward system can be challenging but once you unlock the best system for your child, it’s a game changer! Let’s dive in :)
I work with lots of parents & frequently I hear them say:
“My child only completes tasks when there is a reward” or “My child gets so fixated on getting a certain reward and when it’s not exactly what they had in mind, they have a huge meltdown”
The first step to solving this is deciding what is “reward-worthy.” As the parent, you need to define what’s expected vs what’s rewarded. Define it and then write it out so it’s visible to you, your partner, and the child.
Let’s say your child struggles to place their clothes in the hamper. Its expected that they do this each day. This is not something I’d recommend rewarding each time your child does it. Instead, help your child solve the problem. The conversation could go something like this:
“I see that putting your clothes in the hamper is challenging to remember, I used to have a hard time with this when I was your age. What could we do to help you remember? I could place a sticky note on your door?”
Work with your child to develop a solution you both can agree on instead of rewarding them every time they place their clothes in the hamper.
In my practice, there’s no reward for just showing up to OT. It’s the expectation that you show up to your session. I do however create a reward system for a child depending on their goals. Some examples of this are: listening with only two reminders, completing three tabletop tasks, writing with good legibility, and having a calm body during tabletop tasks.
Every kid is different in what they need to be successful. For some kids, a pat on the back or positive words of encouragement are beneficial and meaningful, BUT for others, the act of placing a sticker on a chart and earning a reward for a certain amount of stickers can be more effective.
The token economy works similarly: kids can work to earn “money” for different reward options. They could choose to save their “money” for a high ticket item or cash in early for something that is not valued as high.
If your child isn’t motivated by making “money” or other types of reward options, try developing a loss aversion program. For example, each week your child starts with $20 on the fridge. The expectation is they complete their household chores, listen, do their homework, etc. For each item they don’t complete or follow, money is taken away. Loss aversion can be more effective for certain children especially if they’re older.
It’s important to note that money does NOT have to be the reward here. Find something that works for your child and family :)
If you're struggling to create a reward system that fits your child, feel free to grab a time on my calendar to chat. I work with children and families who experience these challenges and would love to help you!
Emily Schreiber, OT