It’s a bad feeling being in a public place and your child is yelling, having a tantrum, or being disrespectful. It seems like the world is closing in and all eyes are on you.
Often that tantrum or yelling can escalate into the dreaded “I HATE YOU!”
First things first. Just know that you’re not a “bad” parent and you don’t have a “bad” child. Your child is having a bad day. We all have them.
Why Children say Those Words.
A child who screams “I hate you” often may not have the vocabulary to express their true feelings. Instead of saying “I’m feeling very disappointed because I didn’t get that toy” they say “I hate you” which is easier & requires minimal vocabulary to produce those words.
Additionally, an outburst like that can mean the child is experiencing a big emotion but hasn’t developed the tools to calm themselves down. Let’s face it, many adults exhibit similar behaviors ;) As parents, it’s our job to help our children develop these emotional regulation and resiliency tools.
How should I respond to my child?
While you may want to respond, there’s often more power in saying absolutely nothing. Once the situation has calmed down, it’s worth coming back to it in a later conversion.
When this happens and you’re feeling overwhelmed tell yourself this “I am not a bad parent and they are not a bad child.”
If this keeps happening and you can’t seem to find a solution, feel free to grab a time on my calendar to chat. I work with children who experience these challenges all the time and would love to help you!
Emily Schreiber, OTD OTR/L